Epiphany: Why I imagine I’ll probably never have sex again

July 14, 2011 § 9 Comments

OR: In terms of The Groucho Marx Rule – Why I Would Never Want to Have Sex with Anyone That Would Ever Want to Have Sex With Me. 

Oh my god, I know exactly how to state it – 36 years, 8 months, 2 weeks and 5 days of suffering earth-life later, I get it!

(I’m not particularly interested these days in trying to get laid, but unfortunately, I’m more interested in that than anything else in the world. – But, I’ve figured out how to conceptualize this distracting ambivalence.)

Simply, I just have zero interest in ever sleeping with anyone again that does not “believe” in “the occult.”

I think that’s a good and relevant way to state the standard. I’ve learned from the clumsy attempts at connection – however the sex itself may be, always thinking ‘oh, something’s not right.’ The ultimate merry-go-round of misunderstanding is so simple –

#1 – What does it mean to “believe” in something or not? Does accepting the possibility of something possibly being true mean belief? The dictionary says Belief means confidence or faith in the truth of something.

#2 -However, what could a term as abstract as “the occult” mean? Sure, it’s discipline and faith in some unnameable senses of being in the world, but where does one then draw the lines of what isn’t “the occult?” Initiates know, the occult is a way of seeing everything.

Therefore, belief in the occult means only confidence or faith in powers beyond one’s own knowledge. All these likable people with their sexy bodies and smart personalities – isn’t it all such ego to not “believe” in “the occult?”  To not believe in the occult means you think you know everything? Who could possibly think they know everything? Apparently everyone?

Aye De Mi, Thursday afternoon, 75 degrees and sunny.


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§ 9 Responses to Epiphany: Why I imagine I’ll probably never have sex again

  • youalreadykno says:

    so many people are very attached to their senses and material objects around them, they don’t understand how to get energy from sources not so easily seen… there’s much negativity and fear that placed on occult because it’s so powerful – there are people who believe and practice it everyday, faith will manifest your future

  • S. says:

    There’s something about the unknown that really makes people feel so powerless. I actually enjoy challenging the authority posed by someone who’s a skeptic, particularly when I’m reading their Tarot cards or something. They give me this all-knowing smirk and note how it’s all bullshit, divination and spirituality and intuition. It’s not about being right or wrong at all, I say, but about how you feel. But to be contradictory, it’s those moments in which I can sense the very insecurities and anxieties of the skeptics, that I feel this satisfaction of being “right.” But only because I’m not afraid of the potential of my intuition and embrace all the complexities of my subconscious. I could ignore my intuition all day but I won’t feel any more comfortable with myself and the world around me.

  • Tim Kinsella says:

    Thanks S. and Youalreadyknow! I was pretty sure that I knew what I meant, but never could’ve paraphrased it back to myself. So I wasn’t sure exactly if I was maybe a little bit nuts. It feels good – and I really appreciate – having it explained back to me a little bit. Zank you!

  • It seems that most would agree that there is a lot that is unknown about existence. Some – a very loud some of us – seem to think they know all about the unknown. They have a name for it, books about it, and speak with such certainty and conviction about it that it starts to appear as if the unknown isn’t such a mystery anymore. While having solved the riddle may comfort us, the mystique of life begins to wither under this discourse, things become black and white, homosexuals are told to pray the gay away, etc. In any case, the solution is of no comfort to those who know its a farce. All I can be sure of, at least when it comes to understanding the hidden riddles of the universe, is that we certainly haven’t figured them out – as if it were our destiny to do that. Isn’t it presumptuous of us to think we have the keys to heaven? But anyway, did humanity really make it this far via providence? Didn’t we just have a little bit of luck and do a lot of hard, dirty work, often walking backward and forward at the same time?

  • CC says:

    some things are meant to be unknown. friends. moments. futures. wonderment keeps us alive. omniscience will only cause death. talk of sweetened cream cakes are destined to melt. meaningless words are always spoken with meaning. but it is nice to believe that sweetness endures and we say(andwhatissaidtous) is meant, isn’t it?

  • CC says:

    edited version should read: *what we said*

  • Anon says:

    This seems like a vary good piece of action. Only finding intimacy with those already intimate in belief. I like it.

  • a says:

    in total like with you, as if i wasn’t before…

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